Minnesota: We're Quitting You. Friends: Please Help Us Relocate.

April 18, 2013:

                    Biking in a snowstorm: never fails to make me laugh really hard.

            Check out the expression on the snowman's face. Even he is freaking out.

Minnesota, I love you, but you're bringing me down. I wrote many laudatory blog posts about you in my first year here, but my feelings are starting to change. Although it is unusual to have snow storms this late in spring, it still can happen - which is why we have decided that we would like to relocate to a city with a more temperate climate on either the East or West Coast.

David's research position will end in August, and he has decided to leave research and get an industry job. In August I will have worked at my current job for one year, and I am hoping that will be enough experience to help me get a job elsewhere as a data analyst. So friends, if you know of jobs in our fields or have potential connections, we would appreciate your help very much. I apologize for using my blog for such shameless networking, but we are desperate.

And what type of work are we looking for? What are our qualifications?

Me: I am looking for a job as a data analyst or data scientist.
My Qualifications: Social science degrees; work experience as data analyst; champion data miner using MS Access or SQL; can aggregate data and slice it or dice it any way you want to see it; can create really awesome infographics; speak 5 foreign languages and am applying these skills to learning computer languages; can make really good food for office parties; am super fun to have around in the office because of my dry humor; can go salsa dancing with you; can play keyboard in your band.

David: Looking for a job as a quant analyst in the finance industry or as a consultant in the tech industry. Or if you have any other ideas about what a theoretical physicist can do, he is open to that.
David's Qualifications: PhD in physics; really awesome math skills; can do computer programming; smartest person I know; can learn just about any skill on his own; extremely nice to work with; good at cooking Asian/Western fusion dishes.

If you have any ideas, please let me know! If you help either of us land a job, I promise to throw you a dinner party with a theme of your choice.

Yours truly,

Look who's excited to walk home half a mile in a snowstorm after a long day of work because her bus didn't come because even though it's been snowing for 5 hours, there are no snowplows clearing the streets because even though fresh snow falls on an average of 2 days in April in Minneapolis, the city is somehow incapable of planning for this, expletive, expletive, expletive.